oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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