i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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