I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
