its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
