He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
