Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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