i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
