also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
