HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
