I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
