He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
