I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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