please come you make the beer taste better
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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