no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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