soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
