just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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