can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
