omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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