You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
