just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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