So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You took a bar mat shot.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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