Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Funnyface19 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it

Fav 16 916 4442
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face

Fav 23 1360 4804
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.

Fav 9 1339 2710
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.

Fav 8 1390 4489
share tweet
(952): View more from Minnesota

You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.

(651): View more from Minnesota

Looks like I won that one

Fav 10 2445 1105
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"

Fav 9 2909 894
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.

Fav 8 1476 1051
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(239): View more from Florida

You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill

Fav 1 91 144
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.

Fav 0 46 3
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT