My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
