Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
