windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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