walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Do vagina's smell?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
