I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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