Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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