the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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