I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I would fuck him just for his dog
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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