The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
