69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize