So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
