Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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