I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
