Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
