Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
