just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
