I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
