He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
