Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
