weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
COCAINE IS GR8
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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