well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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