Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i dont even know how to be here
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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