C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize