She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
