Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
