who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
