Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
