Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Watching her eat just hurts me
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
