I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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