He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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