just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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