There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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