Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
