i dont even know how to be here
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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