never play flip cup with pint glasses
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize