Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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