Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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