you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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