Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
These tits shall not be calmed
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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