what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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