just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize